As if!

By Amy Mebberson
Download it at http://www.mimisgrotto.com/asif/index.html
Read: June 2008
Rating: Like, totally.

I got to this one in a sort of backwards way. I found the artist’s DeviantArt page via the Disney Princess club there (shuddup) and from there got to her website, her current comic, Thorn (which is great), and then on to As If!

As If! is one of the better story comics. Not epic manga. Not inner turmoil. A reliable gag-a-day with consistency and growth. Two girls, outcast each in her own way, make friends and stay friends through all the best that high school has to offer. But it’s not just a high school story–it’s much better than that. These characters are very human. They’re quirky and fun, without going overboard. I know people like Hunter. The secondaries are fun, too–I love that, despite all their difference, Hunter and Sandy have held onto their friendship. Angela’s little sister is quite literally evil (see Thorn). And the boys really didn’t get enough air time–they’re wonderful.

I’m really sad that it ended long before I got here. The entire archive is now available for download in zipped chunks. They’re worth the read.

Beautylicious!: The Black Girl’s Guide to the Fabulous Life

By Jenyne M Raines
Read: May 2008
Rating: Appalling.

Somehow this book wound up in the teen section of the public library. Keep it away from your impressionable young women.

The advice is not black-specific, it’s very general and you could find most of it in a myriad of similar titles. The most ‘black’ thing about it is the slang liberally sprinkled throughout.

This book assumes that the reader has a LARGE expendable income, loves designer labels, shops, drinks, and is concerned with image, image, image. It’s a confusing mix–sure, it preaches that you learn to become comfortable with your body… then advocates the wearing of real fur and makes PETA sound like a bunch of loonies you don’t really need to listen to. At all. Because every glam woman has her Team Me–Team Me consists of everyone from your hair stylist to your dentist to your furrier. (No one has furriers anymore. Not even WASPs.)

The book is wholly superficial and morally bankrupt. On page 22, Ms. Raines details the Twinkie Theorem. Essentially, you can always find money–not for what you need, but for what you WANT. Like a Twinkie: just search the couch cushions. Or a Louis Vuitton bag! “A bit of credit left on the charge card and couple of dollars (all right, hundreds) from the rent money.” The Twinkie Theorem advocates skimping on rent and putting yourself in credit card debt for a luxury item! Then it backs it up with a quote from the Bible.

The cover may look cute, but don’t make the same mistake as our library–this is NOT for young girls. The book does not include lessons on safe sex or making good choices in choosing who to become intimate with–just bring a condom. That’s it.

For a young woman, get The College Woman’s Handbook (Educating Ourselves)

For more biting commentary, look below the cut.

The Big Pink

By Ann Pilling
Out of print.
Read: Initially, age 8/9. Reread Jan 2008.
Rating: Humn.

Once upon a time, when I was eight, we went on a trip to our homeland, South Africa. And there we went to a used bookstore (of course, this is MY family we’re talking about), and there I bought some comics (Perishers!) and this book. It didn’t make a lot of sense to me at the time. I hadn’t read much in the way of Boarding School Fiction, and a lot was lost on me. Back to the shelf. There was one scene that stayed with me, though, and we’ll get to that later.

Upon coming across the book godonlyknowswhere (I certainly don’t), I put it on by TBR shelves.

It’s definitely a first novel, with plenty of errors its intended audience (preteens) wouldn’t notice, but I do.

Our heroine, Angela, is a strange mix of wuss and smartass. She’s been bullied all her life for being fat and so she’s rather cowed when it comes to face-to-face interactions. She’s afraid of her aunt, who is the headmistress, and knows better than to put herself in the way of people who like to prey on fat people.

Angela knows she’s fat. She just wishes you would shut up about it and let her get on with her life, please.

She’s also quite smart. She sings well (but won’t sing in public because everyone knows Opera and Fat go together, and she WOBBLES when she sings), does well in classes, and has good survival skills. …and yet she lets stupid things slip by her.

It’s probably asking too much for a book for preteens to err on the side of realism. There are the usual ‘plot’ elements that could be easily avoided if the characters just used their heads. There’s young love making jealousy and stupidity go hand in hand.

What I like most about Angela is that she has the inner dialogue with her conscience. Her parents are religious people, and have gone to do mission work, leaving her at said boarding school. Angela’s mother has always insisted, before you speak ask yourself: Is it right? Is it kind? Is it honest? Is it true? At first Angela lets herself back down from what she really feels in the name of ‘nice,’ but she learns to stick to her guns when it comes to ‘true.’

Not one I’m going to make sure my kids read, but interesting from the perspective of an older reader who is studying writing.

Cat’s Cradle

By Kurt Vonnegut.
Available @Amazon.com (but I’m too lazy to link right now)
Read: September 2007
Rating: PHWOAR.

See the cat, see the cradle?

Book is farking brilliant. My apologies that I’m not more coherent about it, but I thought it was brilliant.

Vonnegut is my new personal hero. In the course of Cat’s Cradle he needles modern science, scientists, and the people too stupid to bother learning science. By stupid I mean, people who don’t recognize the true value of just stretching your damn brain.

The plot is fairly loose, but it doesn’t matter. It’s all the asides and comments on humanity that are so interesting. Unfortunately, this means that the ending falls a little flat. I should try reading  the whole thing again in one shot without interruptions and see if that helps.

See the cat, see the cradle?

The Female Quixote

By Charlotte Lennox
Go, go! Get it! @Amazon.com
Read: February 2007
Rating: Treasured

I truly don’t know how this book fell so completely out of favor. The Female Quixote was written in mid 1700s, about a young woman who, like Don Quixote, lives in her fantasies. Arabella reads romances, all of which are set in the ancient Greco-Roman classic era, when society operated very differently. She has been raised largely in pampered isolation on her father’s estate, but upon his death she begins to enter the real world.

Sort of.

Arabella believes that it is an offense for a man to confess his love for a woman without her permission. That he must then remove himself either to pine and die, or put himself in mortal danger to prove his love. That lovers must be rebuffed at all costs, for they are simply everywhere! The gardener is surely a lord in disguise come to watch her and sigh from afar. Essentially, she believes that life is a romance novel and it’s her turn to be the heroine.

Of course, everyone thinks she’s nuts. It’s very rewarding to see Ye Olde nobility get exasperated with her and call her various insults like dimwit. She takes it all wonderfully in stride, and believes she is the heroine of her own life story.

How can you not love that?

The end is somewhat controversial, and raises all sorts of issues about cultural norms and gender. If she giving up, or growing up? GO READ IT.

How to Abduct a Highland Lord

By Karen Hawkins
Found at your local supermarket or @Amazon.com
Read: April 2007
Rating:

Mmkay, I am a sucker for men in kilts. So much so that I’m adding a new category to the Fun Shtuff. Why? Cuz men in kilts are Hawtt. Ahem.

I grabbed this and ran–I just had a good feeling about it. And I was so right. Though there was only one kilt mentioned, and it wasn’t on the hero, the book was still hot.

A romance book earns top marks when the writing and characters are able to overcome whatever silly or contrived elements may be necessary to being the protagonists together. (You may say that silly or contrived plot elements shouldn’t be necessary at all, but please remember: this is romance.) In this case, our wee bonny lass Fiona MacLean’s family has been feuding with the Kincaids for generations. Matters have just come to a head with the death of the youngest MacLean brother, and now the MacLeans are calling for blood. Fiona is desperate not to lose her other four brothers, but she can only thing of one solution: If she marries a Kincaid, the two clans will be family, and they can no longer war with each other.

Black Jack Kincaid’s just a little too drunk to see it her way, however. The gamboling rogue.

The opening two chapters of this book won me over immediately. What better way to hook your reader than with, “Jack Kincaid died as he had lived: awash in a haze of fine bourbon, his perfectly tailored coat pockets stuffed with his winnings from a night of wild gaming, and reeking faintly of the perfume of another man’s wife.” Jack passes out, convinced he is about to die.

Feeling Sorry For Celia

By Jaclyn Moriarty
Stop moping and buy it! @Amazon
Read: January 2007
Rating: Wonderful

I was wandering around Strand, in desperate need of something to replace The Captain’s Caress (blech), and just when I’d given up hope, I found this. Somebody up in the Big Library of Time And Space loves me.

Elizabeth Clarrey lives in Sydney with her mother, and has a special relationship with her best friend Celia, who’s more than a little nutty. Celia is the type to run away to join the circus on a whim–which she does. Liz is torn between concern and 15 years of proof that this is Just How Celia Is, and She’ll Come Back Eventually. When she doesn’t, Liz begins to truly worry, but Celia’s equally batty mother isn’t interested.

The only person Liz can turn to is her penpal, part of a school program to her her private school acqainted with the public school down the block. Christina’s life is its own kind of crazy, and soon the girls are eagerly exchanging letters, sometimes more than one in a day.

In fact, Liz’s life is made of letters: Post-Its on the fridge from her Mum, postcards from Celia, and even notices from the Best Friends Association.

It’s true that Liz and her Mum aren’t often at home at the same time, and it’s sad that they communicate mostly through short notes. The tragedy of the latchkey kid. But, the love and affection is more than evident. They have a better relationship than most teenagers have with their mothers. They tease one another with good humor and have fun while still keeping tabs on the seriousness of Celia’s situation.

A great read, for teens and adults. Heartfelt. J’ador.

Demonology 101

By Faith Erin Hicks
URL: http://faith.rydia.net
Read: December ’06-January ’07
Rating: Spellbinding.
Genre: Supernatural, Supreme Good vs. Supreme Evil.
Format: Full page.
Style: Black, white, and watercolor grays for shading.
Published: Not yet, but I would buy it ASAP. (Hear that, Faith!?)
Bonus: It’s COMPLETE!!! No waiting! Wait–it’s over?!

It took me a while to get through this one because I left it hanging on the laptop over the holidays. Then I rediscovered it and dove back in. This comic? Is Teh Shit. You like demons, strife, mysterious births, and redeemable assholes? This is the comic for you. Oh, the yumminess…

Once upon a time, a little demon girl was left on the doorstep of Network, an organization of humans dedicated to opposing evil. Though her presence perplexed them, she was given into the care of Gabriel, a member of Network, who has been her sole parent for some 15 years. Two years ago, Gabriel made the decision for them to leave Network, and he enrolled Raven, now a teenager, in the local high school.

Not long after, Network was destroyed, completely. Only two people survived, Poe, a woman with a temper, and John, a former double-agent for Network. They seek out Raven and Gabriel to give them the news. Meanwhile, Raven makes some friends at school, and thus our little band of protagonists is born.

But the baddies? They are not nearly so nice. The Jenner family made a pact with the dark side generations ago to aid and abet all things evil. The youngest son, Isaac, is the only surviving member of the family who wants to carry on the business–but only the eldest son may do so. Lethe, a particularly powerful and nasty demon, isn’t too keen on anyone mentioned above. And out of nowhere, two half-demon kids show up at Raven’s school… and subsequently launch a whole new brand of trouble.

The complexity is what makes it so good! Honestly, it’s a lot easier to manage when read in order. D101 was written as 5 distinct episodes, one after the other. Each is crafted as a beginning and end unto itself, with continuing themes that unite the whole. You don’t get a “Now everything’s peachy keen” feeling at the end of each one, nor do you feel frustrated because you’ve been lefting hanging. Satisfying is perhaps the best word for it. Ms. Hicks strikes just the right note each time, and I am awed. Each arc is fresh (omg, Madeline? Love her.) and the characters  are never revealed too quickly.

You have to read this. It’s tender, raw, and knocks the piss out of everyone’s sense of righteousness. Rethink your heroes, loves… and your villains. Cuz this one special little demon girl isn’t going to take you at face value.

Mini Reviews (2006, July-December)

Welcome to another edition of “Mini-Reviews Clumped Together Because I Was Too Lazy To Dedicate a Full Page to Each One.” This one covers books read between July and December 2006. (#22-51 of the 50 Book Challenge)

Included:

• The Invisible Ring (Anne Bishop, Black Jewels spin-off)
• The Seven Daughters of Eve (Non-Fiction)
• Rebel Angels (Libba Bray)
• Thoroughly Kissed (Romance, Fairy Tale)
• The Chronicles of Chrestomanci 1 & 2 (Fairy Tale, Kids)

Sheikh’s Ransom

By Alexandra Sellers
Read: November 2006
Rating: BLECH.

(This one has some bad language. Sorry.)

Remember that school project about Christian Romance Novels? Well, I got an A on it. But my punishment was having to read this garbage.

I’m not a stranger to fantasies that involve the dangerous, the forbidden, submission, and the otherwise impossible. Hell, that’s what romance novels are for. But this? This is seriously crap.